A midwife's view of stillbirth

Sometimes birth is not about life, rather it is about death.

An eye-opening story about stillbirth from a midwife in the New York Times:

"She was a low-risk patient. No complications. No warning that this might happen. Just a previously healthy baby who stopped kicking and died. One day, a heartbeat. The next day, none."

Angel gowns: when pregnancy ends in heartache

I came across a really interesting concept recently that made me think about an issue that I tend to forget as I rant about pregnancy, losing baby weight and the fatuous lives of celebrities. Dana, from Unique Christening Gowns in Melbourne, pointed me in the direction of her online store as a reminder that sometimes pregnancy ends in heartache. After all, according to the Bonnie Babies Foundation, one in every four pregnancies ends in a loss from miscarriage and stillbirth. Over 17,000 babies are born prematurely, many of them often struggling for life. The organisation provides free grief counseling for couples that have lost a child due to miscarriage, stillbirth or prematurity.

Dana creates beautiful gowns for parents to bury their babies, 'angel gowns', a product that is strangely non-existent in the mainstream market. As grief counselors tell grieving parents to find a way to connect with their babies' short lives, often having a proper funeral is an important way for parents to farewell their children meaningfully. I have heard over and over again from women who have miscarried how angry they are when friends and relatives respond to their grief with the statement that they can just 'try again', implying that a miscarriage is not the loss of an actual 'life' to many women. A number of women in my study told me that it took them months and even years to feel confident enough to try for another baby after so many previous disappointments.

Sources: http://uniquechristeninggowns.blogspot.com/search/label/angel%20gowns
http://www.bonniebabes.org.au/about/

More products you don't need

It never ceases to amaze me the sheer number of products sold to women to 'enhance' their pregnancies whilst scaring them to death at the same time. Enter 'KickTrak', 'the first innovative digital solution to kick counting, designed by an obstetrician for moms-to-be'. This handheld device is being endorsed by the American Pregnancy Association as a 'must have' for mums who want to prevent stillbirth in the last trimester and apparently they can do so by keeping a 'reliable record' of the baby's kicks. Clearly, women cannot be trusted to feel kicks and look at the second hand of clock at the same time.

Pregnancy is hard enough. I don't think women need any more 'advice' or gadgets to remind them every day of the possibility that birth is uncertain and babies can (and do) die. I find it offensive that this device purportedly 'stores' information better than the mother herself and actually prompts a pregnant woman to notify her doctor (because of course, all pregnant women see obstetricians and give birth in hospitals) if a particular number/pattern of kicks is not felt on a certain day. This is just an easy way for a big company to profit from the neuroses of first-time mothers.

Source: http://www.babykick.com/