Blossom preaches on parenting

Oh, you know it's a good day when you get to talk about Blossom (aka Mayim Bialik) in a post. As quite possibly one of the foremost fashion influences in my life when I was 13, Bialik (now with a PhD in neuroscience, 2 kids, a revived acting career and voice of 'attachement parenting') has a new role as 'mommy blogger' (gag!) for Today (US), the breakfast 'news' (who are they kidding) show.

In her first post, Bialik has managed to press a few buttons with her writing about a typical day in her life as a parent. Now, whilst Bialik has been something of a postergirl for attachment parenting and natural childbirth, in this post she claims that she isn't in to labels and just does what feels right to her (even though she has referred to herself as living in an attachment parenting household before). Fair enough.

According to the actress, "This is not some fandangled new Hollywood trend. We parent the way people have parented for hundreds of thousands of years. So hang on to your hats and prepare for a view into my household."

What annoys me, however, is that following her abhorrence for being labelled, she then provides a laundry list of several things that she and her husband do regularly as part of their parenting (for example, co-sleeping, extending breastfeeding, baby wearing, 'gentle disipline'). Now, if she doesn't want to refer to these actions as 'attachment parenting', I'm not sure what else you would categorise them as. Instead of discussing why she thinks what she does works best for her family, there is a tone of self-righteousness in her descriptions.

For example, "Natural birth is not something to “try for” and feel bad you couldn’t do. Our country needs to step up to the plate in educating women about the benefits of natural birth, and we need to help women actually do it – not just hear about it." Okay, well if she is trying to say that women shouldn't feel badly about themselves if they are not able to have a natural birth, it doesn't make sense then to append that with a statement implying that women should be having natural births because they are better.

If Bialik is aware of all of the stereotypes of attachement parents (" I know what you’re thinking: AP parents are self-righteous, privileged, over-psychoanalyzed martyrs who (especially if they are celebrities) pretend to have the time, energy, patience and abundant love to be with their kids all the time without giving them any limits, boundaries or sense of independence.") then perhaps she should change people's minds about AP, live up to the label and be proud of it, rather than playing in to those very same stereotypes in her mightier-than-thou attitude to parenthood and, out of fear, refusing to identify with a community of parents who practice what you preach.

Miranda Kerr: first photo

How gorgeous is Miranda Kerr and her new bub? Miranda recently posted this beautiful photo on her blog that she is enjoying motherhood and that her natural birth was no cake walk.

"On the 6th of January I gave birth to our beautiful little son Flynn. He weighed 9lb 12 ounces (a very healthy and big baby boy). I gave birth to him naturally; without any pain medication and it was a long, arduous and difficult labour, but Orlando was with me the whole time supporting and guiding me through it. I could not have done it without him."

I love that she has chosen to be honest and say that natural birth is beautiful but it's not easy....AND she's showing the world that she is breastfeeding!

And then there were 12.

It was only a matter of time before someone would try and outspawn Octomum.

A woman in her 30s in Tunisia who has undergone fertility treatments claims she is pregnant with 12 babies, 6 boys and 6 girls. While it's not impossible to carry such a large number of foetuses, British experts say that natural birth would be impossible, warning that the strain of carrying 12 babies could lead to the woman going into labour at 20 weeks. It is unlikely that a doctor actually implanted 12 embryos. Experts believe the woman probably took fertility drugs before she was artifically inseminated.

There are no words. Very few babies survive before 22-23 weeks and even at that stage, you need to have high quality pediatric care in order to keep the babies alive. Why on earth, would you risk it? And even so, who wants 12 babies? Octomum herself revealed in a candid documentary that she has basically ruined her own life and that of her children selfishly choosing to have so many babies at once.

Grin and bear it, ladies: pain is supposed to be positive

Apparently, women today aren't as stoic as their ancestors when it comes to pain in childbirth.

Dr Denis Walsh, a senior midwife and associate professor in midwifery at Nottingham University, said: "A large number of women want to avoid pain. Some just don't fancy the pain [of childbirth]. More women should be prepared to withstand pain."

"Over recent decades there has been a loss of 'rites of passage' meaning to childbirth, so that pain and stress are viewed negatively," he added, arguing that patients should be told labour pain is a timeless component of the "rites of passage" transition to motherhood.

Now, while I think that in certain contexts epidurals are sometimes overused, why on earth should women suffer through pain if they don't have to? Does it make you a better mother?

Thoughts?

The new 'natural' caesarean

Maybe I'm missing something but does the idea of a 'natural' caesarean sound a little ridiculous to anyone else?

Thanks to an enterprising OB, Professor Nicholas Fisk, some women in the UK are experiencing slower, more pleasant caesarean births with the lights dimmed low, the opportunity to see their baby emerging from the womb and immediate skin-to-skin contact. The idea is to make a caesar more like vaginal birth.

"It struck me that all the effort was going into changing normal childbirth but that Caesarean section was still steeped in old surgical rituals,” says Fisk. “In some cases I was horrified; the baby would be dragged out like a tumour and passed to several medical staff before the mother. It was ripe for reform.”

Don't get me wrong. I think this is a fabulous and timely intervention, but perhaps the word 'natural' is somewhat ill-placed in describing this updated version of a caesar. I'm all for women feeling comfortable and having every opportunity to bond with their babies during surgical birth but let's not kid ourselves here. Surgical birth is surgical. Vaginal birth is vaginal. While both types of birth can be joyous experiences, dim lights and a dropped surgical drape do not change the fact that too many women in the western world are having caesars. Making caesars a little more pretty and a little less scary is good in the short-term but I bristle at the idea that a happier, healthier caesar will only encourage more women to think that a caesar is preferable.

Read more: The new 'natural' caesarean

Melissa Joan Hart: bring on the drugs

This is something you don't hear very often. Melissa Joan Hart says she regrets her decision to give birth 'naturally' to her second son, Braydon (now 6 months old).

"I kinda regret that one," she revealed.

"But the thing is, the healing was so much faster," the 32-year-old explained. "I didn't have to get the drugs out of my system and was moving around a lot more."

"I labored at home for 9 hours and then went to the hospital for an hour and a half - two pushes and he was out," she said.

Anyone else out there regret saying no to an epidural?

Source: http://www.usmagazine.com/news/melissa-joan-hart-i-regret-no-epidural

'Natural' birth is best?

Mothers who give birth naturally are more responsive to the cry of their baby than those who choose to have a Caesarean, American research suggests.

A research team at Yale carried out brain scans on 12 women two to four weeks after they had given birth - known as the early postpartum period.

Half had a Caesarean, the other half gave birth naturally.

The differences in brain activity were found in regions that not only appeared to influence a mother's response to her child, but also to regulate her mood.

It seems oxytocin, the 'love' hormone is a critical factor in the bonding process.

The researchers suggest that women who have caesareans should be encouraged to cuddle their babies straight after birth.

I think this is all a bit problematic. Sure we have known for quite a long time that oxytocin does a number of important things for birth and bonding. Yet, making sweeping claims on the basis of a sample of 12? Hmmm.

Anyone have a different experience? Did you have a caesarean? How was your bonding experience? Did you get to cuddle your baby straight away? If not, how long did you have to wait?

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7594282.stm

Matthew McConaughey: 'we' or 'she'??

Talk about two slow news days. Matthew McConaughey and his partner Camila Alves are on the cover of Ok! with their new baby, Levi. Not very whiz bang exciting but I am interested in the fact that Matthew is the focus of the article. Sure he's the 'celebrity' but she's the one that had the damn baby and very oddly, he answers most of the questions about the birth. Poor gal ended up with a caesar because the docs told her a cord around the neck was making it too dangerous to give birth 'naturally':

"We ended up having an epidural because, on the large contractions, the umbilical cord was being compressed. They went in and tried the vacuum. This is where I learned — and no one tells you this — but having a baby is a bloody, pukey, sweaty, primeval thing! And I mean that as a beautiful thing. It is wild. But the vacuum didn't work, and the doctor said, 'C-section.'

Source: http://www.okmagazine.com/news/view/8038