Motherhood in pictures through a father's eyes

I just came across an adorable and thoughtful blog from a man who has been documenting his wife's pregnancy with photos and lovely captions. He's a professional photographer so unlike most preggo side-on snapshots from the rest of us amateurs with cut-off heads and blurry backgrounds, his snaps are gorgeous and his wife has incredibly chic outfits.

Forget the altar, the key to catching a man is pregnancy

If your male partner is involved in your pregnancy, according to a new study, he is more likely to hang around following the birth and better bonded to the baby three years on.

Interestingly, the study suggests that marital status is not necessarily a factor in the results. "It is the decision that couples make to strengthen commitment and move in together that is important, rather than marital status per se," lead researcher Natasha J. Cabrera, of the University of Maryland in College Park, said in a university statement.

Source: Journal of Marriage and Family, December 2008.
http://uk.reuters.com/article/healthNewsMolt/idUKTRE4BT4J520081230

British dads doing it tough?

A survey of 3,000 dads across the UK has produced some intriguing results:

42% of new fathers say they argue more with their partners since the birth of a child, mostly about money

70% of 'older' dads get more sleep than their partners

26 % of dads in their twenties get less sleep than their female partners

49% of fathers get up in the middle of the night to attend to their babies

53% of 'older' dads do night-time feeds

British dads in their thirties are the most 'hands on':

61% claim to regularly changing nappies

58% regularly feed the baby

56% calm their baby when he or she cries

Dads in their late forties struggle the most with parenthood:

52% feel helpless when the baby is crying

How does your partner stack up against these stats? How often does your male partner feed, change, or settle your baby? Do you think new fathers need more support?

Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1044855/Round-Babies-bring-battles-bonding-relationships.html

Michael Odent says birth is women-only business

Leading obstetrician Michael Odent says he is finally able to say what he really thinks about birth: men should stay away. According to the doctor who has been delivering babies for 50 years:

"The effect of this is that, with a man present, a woman cannot be as relaxed as she needs to be during labour, and hence the process becomes longer and more difficult."

Odent says that when men are present in the birthing room, often their anxiety rubs off on the birthing women and disrupts the natural release of oxytocin (the wonder hormone that starts labour and helps with bonding). Moreover, Odent argues that men are at greater risk of negative post-natal symptoms particularly if they see their partners through a difficult birth.

Finally, and this is the part that really annoys me...Odent thinks that if a man sees his partner give birth he might be turned off by her sexually forever:

"There are many things we do in private in order to preserve a degree of modesty and mystery.
And, for the benefit of our sex lives, it may be worth adding childbirth to this list. "

This is so old school. Whilst some men I talked to in my study, for instance, were a bit freaked out by the whole process of birth, when they saw their babies being born that same fear just turned into love. The men I spoke to found their wives more attractive and felt more in love with them after birth because they felt it united them as a couple.

What do you think? Should men be kicked out of the birthing suite?

Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=559913&in_page_id=1879

New dads are stressed out too

A new Australian study of expectant dads has shown that 18.6% of men show high levels of psychological distress during their partner's pregnancy. Whereas it is widely known that many women experience PND upon giving birth, men tend to feel anxiety during the pregnancy. The men in the study felt a loss of control, struggled with financial responsibilities and worried about being protectors. Many also grieved the loss of their independence and the prospect of having to share their partner's attention with a third person.

I would have to agree. In my study, most of the male partners I interviewed felt a great deal of pressure to provide for and support their pregnant partners. Many men also felt very detached from the pregnancy at least until the first ultrasound when they could actually 'see' that the pregnancy was 'real' or until they could feel some movement. I found it interesting that although many of the men I spoke to were anxious about fatherhood, they were not so anxious that they felt the need to read books about the pregnancy or parenting. I think a number of men were in such denial that their lives were about to change significantly, they sort of pretended the pregnancy didn't exist until they actually had to confront the prospect of fatherhood right before the due date.

Source: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22701670-2,00.html