New book cracks open the secrets and lies of mummyhood

A new book out of the UK, Backwards in High Heels: The Impossible Art of Being Female by Sarah Vine and Tanya Kindersley, calls itself an 'instruction manual for having it all'. One chapter is called 'The Conspiracy of Silence' and it a discussion of the lies that women tell each other about pregnancy and childbirth and then a funny but slightly horrible description of what women actually mean when they say to one another that, for instance, that birth 'isn't that bad'. For example:

If you tell a friend that

1. It doesn’t matter if she gets fat, the weight will drop off afterwards, especially if she breastfeeds.

What you really mean is:

1. Her stomach will never be the same again, not even if she goes to the gym every day (which she won’t be able to because she won’t have the time), breastfeeds until her child goes to university and observes a strict vegan diet.

What are some 'lies' that you were told about pregnancy and birth?