im not fat, im pregnant

And another thing...why is it that women have to wear t-shirts reassuring everyone else that they are pregnant and not 'fat'? Or is it really just reassurance for themselves because strangers feel the need to ask you how much weight you've gained, whether you having twins and if you really need that muffin with your latte (oh that's right, pregnant gals aren't supposed to drink coffee either, thanks for reminding me)

Speaking of interesting coffee encounters, one pregnant woman told me she was taking a taxi to work and had the driver stop for a minute so she could grab a coffee on the way. The driver then proceeded to berate her for 1) wanting a coffee 2) even considering drinking it. She looked at him, smiled and kept on drinking.

I'm really sick of the world we live in.

fear of fat

Has anyone else noticed the recurring 'fat people are bad' theme in the media? In light of the popularity of The Biggest Loser (which I admit I watch with such intensity and excitement I surprise myself) I guess it's no surprise that fear of fat has possessed Australians with such force that people need diet-centred reality television shows to get them off the couch. However, my interest in fatness and maternity has been sparked by the woe-is-me fertility obsessed Munnalita (she's a bit of a drama queen, her bio on TBL website calls her an 'emotional character' http://www.thebiggestloser.com.au/default.aspx?page=contestant&ID=15 ) from the Red Team who says will not be accepted for IVF treatment unless she loses a significant amount of weight. Munnalita is so set on having children, one of the first episodes of TBL shows Munnalita in her nursery at home that is all set and ready to go for a baby with an entire cupboard filled with baby clothing. It's hard not to feel for the poor woman but what really irks me is that now the media has taken a sort of perverse delight in publishing articles about how obsese or overweight people cannot have children easily (for example, in the Washington Post http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A42614-2005Feb21.html) . Undeniably, as in Munnalita's case and I'm sure for many other women, weight can play a significant role in one's ability to get pregnant (on both ends--weighing too much or too little). However, no one seems to talk about the horrific discrimination overweight women face when they do become pregnant, particularly in hospitals and from midwives even here in Victoria.

On Big Fat Blog (www.bigfatblog.com), a number of self-described overweight women recount their experiences of discrimination and harassment for being pregnant and overweight. This experience is particularly poignant for a number of contributors on the blog:

A pregnant woman says she has been told she cannot have her baby in a Victorian hospital because she is too fat. "[A hospital staffer] weighed and measured me, then sat down with her calculator and worked it out and just told me sorry you're 41," [the woman] Lisa said. She said she was told by the staff member she would have to lose 8kg if she wanted to have her baby delivered at Werribee Mercy hospital. "I've only got nine or 10 weeks left in my pregnancy, basically that's drop a kilo a week."

Or this:

The mainstream approach to childbirth really bothers me. You realize just how researchers can ignore the data about obesity when they do the same thing with childbirth. It's not a disease, but OBs are trained to look for the pathology so they do. I was supposedly a high risk pregnancy with my last because of my age (36 at the time) and maybe my weight (about 258 before conceiving) even though I had no problems in my first pregnancy and never had a problem in my second..

There are plenty of overweight women who give birth to healthy bubs--heck, look at all the plus-size maternity wear (http://www.plusmommaternity.com/) and lingerie that is available now. If there is enough of a mainstream market for plus-size maternity wear, there must be more than a few overweight women getting pregnant and having babies...and no one should be told they have to lose weight in order to deliver in a hospital.

Is rehab the new baby bump?

So who else out there is feeling terribly sorry for Britney Spears? As the media continues to portray her as a nutcase, parading around with no underwear, shaving her head, attacking paparazzi cars with a golf umbrella and all of the failed attempts at rehab, no one has been talking about what some insiders claim is the real cause of Britney's pain: post-natal depression. Whereas Brooke Shields became the poster girl for PND awareness coupled with her best-selling account of her darkest times, our dear Britney, once heralded as America's sweetheart, is the next celebrity in line to go to rehab (with no mention of her PND). Has rehab become the new baby bump?

Also, I was just perusing The Guardian this morning and found another article about Gwen Stefani (see previous post) and how much she hated being pregnant. This is incredibly interesting to me because Stefani is consistently quoted as loving motherhood and not being able to wait to have a second baby. She says:

"I was surprised how much I didn't enjoy pregnancy," she admits. "Having something growing in your stomach feels so unnatural. Your body's changing and you can't control it. You just feel gross. I was having to get up on stage wearing bathing suits, looking fat. Nobody knew I was pregnant except me. They were constantly having to add extra panels into my costumes. To be honest, I was feeling pretty bad about myself."
(for full article see http://arts.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,,2024019,00.html)

When did women start referring to themselves as 'fat' in pregnancy? My own research is trying work out what the fear of fatness in pregnancy means. Out of the 40 women participating in The Baby Bump Project, I have been amazed by the number of women that refer to themselves as 'fat' and not pregnant as if the weight gain is a failure more so than biological necessity. Pregnancy brings not only a changed body but also a changed lifestyle. My thought is that some of this fear around fatness has to do with anxiety around having children. Wearing maternity clothes and seeing the numbers rise on the scale means that you are not yourself anymore. The body you have always known is different. Many women are consumed with 'getting back into their jeans' because it's a sign of more than just getting the top button done up; it represents a return to the old 'you'. As Stefani says, 'Then after three months, I was like, enough's enough, I want my life back. I'd gained 40lb, so I went on a diet.' Regaining control of the postnatal body is equivalent to regaining a sense of identity.

gwen stefani on motherhood, weight loss and Hollywood

On her public pregnancy: "It was weird being pregnant in a fishbowl situation. Especially on days when you feel really fat and disgusting and not cute. Pregnancy was challenging in a way I didn't expect. I was on tour and I was so sick. It was like PMS times a million."

On baby weight: "I worked out with my trainer throughout my whole pregnancy until about two weeks before. I cried during my last session. I was like, 'I can't breathe, I can't do this anymore. What am I doing?' It was crazy. All my life I had to work hard to stay in shape. I've always struggled with it. I was a little chubby when I was younger, and I didn't want to be that person forever. I became a swimmer at school - but only because I wanted to be skinnier! I'm extremely vain. I like wearing cute clothes."

On getting her body back: "There aren't any tricks, it's simple math: you put this much food in, you burn that much working out. I gave myself three months - but if I didn't have an album coming out, there's no way I would have gotten back into shape in that time. I worked out with my trainer five days a week, with weekends off. I would really recommend doing weights. I'm not into yoga and pilates - they don't work for me and I don't have the patience. I'm more like a man. I like going to the gym and lifting weights or doing a little boxing."

On the Hollywood body ideal: "It sucks that that's what is supposed to look good and that's what everyone strives to be. There's more to life than being on a diet. Clearly, I spend time thinking about it, and it's something I've had to deal with in my life. As I get older, I try not to focus on it, it's boring, it's a waste of life. What I have learned is that whether I'm fatter or thinner, people seem not to mind, they like me either way. It's more in your own mind than anyone else's."

the reality of motherhood: photos

These are some really thought provoking photo sets from an American photographer, Torrie, who is documenting her own pregnancy:

This is her photo set of her pregnancy (http://flickr.com/photos/torrie/sets/72157594304111463/)

She has also started a new series called "The realities of pregnancy and motherhood"
(http://flickr.com/photos/torrie/sets/72157594516155043/).

Torrie says,
"I thought it would be interesting to highlight the trials and tribulations of pregnancy and motherhood instead of just the typical happy belly and baby shots.

This is her blog www.iprettymuchhateeverything.com

new book

Very exciting new book...and I'm in it! hehehe

http://www.yorku.ca/arm/MotherKnowsBest.html

Smart Mums

Hi everyone. I just wanted to let you know about a fantastic site www.smart-mums.com.au which has everything you need to know about motherhood, parenting and pregnancy. I've written a feature article for this month on the site called 'Baby Bump'. You can view it here: http://www.smart-mums.com.au/site/1435875/page/898531